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| “Hello, ambulance? My legs have been severed off at the knee by a falling Monolith.” |
As someone who’s always struggled with sleep (I was diagnosed with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder several years back. Basically means that I’m programmed to fall asleep several hours after midnight and not wake up properly until ten. Effectively I’m built for the sleep pattern of a student) I’ve tried everything to help fix it, and I’m well aware of the horrendous effect poor sleep has on someone’s productivity. Sleep issues and aids will therefore be a large part of this blog in future, so I’m gonna start by talking about the pre-sleep shutdown, and why it’s more important than getting that extra episode of Breaking Bad in before you pass out. Even if you sleep pretty easily, keep reading; I’m gonna help you sleep better. And everything I say here is probably something that you already know, in your heart of hearts, to be true. You just need tellin’.
I’m sure, like me, you spend a lot of your day looking at some sort electronic screen, be it laptop, phone, TV tablet, or anything that shows Craigslist ads for live-in submissive slaves. Right? Well, all that eye stimulation leaves your brain more wired than you think, to the point that even when you’re exhausted you’ll either struggle to drop off, or even when you do manage to pass out you don’t properly drop into REM sleep and wake up feeling tired and unrested. Basically, you’re spoiling the effectiveness of your own sleep.
Your eyes-and brain-need to reset before that sleep happens; watching TV right up until bed is bad for your life in the bedroom (unless it’s the Playboy channel…no, wait, that’s still bad) and getting into bed and monkeying around on your phone is a no-go too. So you need to spend half an hour to an hour doing something that takes your eyes and mind away from that kind of stimulation. Reading is an excellent way to do this (and yes, the e-Ink displays on a Kindle are fine as they don’t flicker at a high rate like conventional screens) or even an audiobook or podcast. Your eyes therefore have plenty of time to settle before you pass out (this sounds like a contradiction in terms, but trust me, it isn’t) and your brain has the load taken off it at the same time.
Now, this might sound counterproductive to clearing things off the Endless To Do List; an hour’s less precious ‘fun’ time means either exactly that or taking an hour out of your ‘producing’ time, but not only is reading and/or listening to podcasts fun, it also means that you’ll awake feeling more refreshed, more mentally capable, and it’ll help make the most of the working time you have. Trust me. It helps. And if you REALLY can’t do without the Playboy channel, read some erotic literature instead, and kill two birds with one stone. In fact, ‘Two Birds With One Stone’ is actually the title of this great saucy novel I read 0nce where the twin Countesses, Letha and Lase, ask the gardener….nevermind.
